"H... hello? Um, this is me-- ah, Noire! I'm Noire, and I'm very sorry for missing you somehow... I promise I'm not avoiding you, unless you're scary or you're Mo-- trying to curse me. U-um, so when I can figure out how to-- ( beeps ensue, followed by a shriek of fright ) O-oh, no! What did I push, how do I-- make it-- oh gods, did I break it?! W-why can't we just talk in person?!"
... And what if I killed that person, too? What if I can't guarantee that it won't happen again? You're really telling me not to give up, after all of that, if you've given up on that much??
He is! I killed him, and then he went away before I could come to terms with anything except the one thing I hadn't wanted to think about, and then he came back before I was ready!
[ he doesn't get it at first. doesn't get why she's so worked up, why she's saying those things (just to make him feel better about letting Alice die? really? she'd do that for him?)
and then when it does hit him... it definitely hits. ]
[ she shakes her head, breathing hard, but all of that anger is draining out of her as she takes a step back. Because it's hitting her, as hard as this hit him. ]
[ Don't hate me. Don't ask me why. Don't give me false hope.
There's so much to say, and when she tries to say it, it's all so dry and crumbly in her throat, nothing emerging except some faintly distressed gasping sound. There's fear squeezing her chest, and it's not unlike the terror when she'd seen him jump, except that the feeling keeps getting tighter and tighter.
[ ... of all the things to say, that he could have said, saying that he didn't feel that way about her, that there was someone else he cared about, anything beyond social status--
There are words now, as strong as the urge to run away. That feeling in her chest is close to agonizing now. ]
Only some people in the Shepherds are nobles or knights. Some of them came from villages or farms. My mother defected from her own country. I was a guinea pig for every curse imaginable and I'm still no one special, so why would you even think something like that would matter to me?
It's fine if you reject me, but don't tell me I can't feel one way or another because of a reason like that...
... Is that why you didn't want to go back? [ and why is still the dominant question here, because he's too kind a person to end up with a fate like that. ]
Mm... but that was just selfishness. If I stay here, I can still cause trouble for others even if I decide to live in the tunnels... but that's not the case back home.
I'm fine with going back.
[ ... ]
But being viewed as «more than a friend» by anybody, especially you, just feels... wrong.
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bloodandblunder) wrote2013-06-18 07:49 pm
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Nobody is unreachable, okay? Especially an important friend like that.
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Maybe not, but there are some things that won't ever happen. I know that.
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It's not like you to give up so easily.
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But this is something else entirely. As his friend, giving up is the best thing I could do for him.
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Eugeo, if the person you liked had someone else they liked, what would you do?
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Nothing. I can't like anyone like that.
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[ and she gently places her hands on his chest to push herself back. ]
But that's my problem. And I don't want to cause him any more than I already have.
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[ he steps back, too. ]
... I killed «that person» twice, Noire. Three times, depending on how you look at it.
[ It's weird how he can say it now, when he'd been so reluctant before. There's no real emotion behind it; all that's already been buried. ]
So don't compare yourself to me — especially not when it comes to «liking people».
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It's a great time to drop it. ]
... And what if I killed that person, too? What if I can't guarantee that it won't happen again? You're really telling me not to give up, after all of that, if you've given up on that much??
[ ... well. ]
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[ Unless they have revival in her world??? But he thought they didn't.......... ]
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[ he doesn't get it at first. doesn't get why she's so worked up, why she's saying those things (just to make him feel better about letting Alice die? really? she'd do that for him?)
and then when it does hit him... it definitely hits. ]
You... [ idiot, Noire ] that's --
[ so articulate, Eugeo. ]
... Why?
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Don't ask me that like it's so easy to explain...
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[ SORRY ASKING AGAIN. ]
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I... told you-- [ and her voice is too shaky now. ] I told you I-I was giving up, so-- please don't...
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[ It's gentle. Maybe he won't upset her even more that way. ]
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There's so much to say, and when she tries to say it, it's all so dry and crumbly in her throat, nothing emerging except some faintly distressed gasping sound. There's fear squeezing her chest, and it's not unlike the terror when she'd seen him jump, except that the feeling keeps getting tighter and tighter.
Why hadn't she stopped herself in time? ]
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There are words now, as strong as the urge to run away. That feeling in her chest is close to agonizing now. ]
Only some people in the Shepherds are nobles or knights. Some of them came from villages or farms. My mother defected from her own country. I was a guinea pig for every curse imaginable and I'm still no one special, so why would you even think something like that would matter to me?
It's fine if you reject me, but don't tell me I can't feel one way or another because of a reason like that...
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He shakes his head, smiling slightly. ]
I didn't mean it like that. In my world, there's the «Human World» and the «Dark Territory». Think of it as Haven West and the subway tunnels.
My fate in that world is either to be executed, or to willingly go to the Dark Territory.
[
Or get laid and become Knight of One.]no subject
well obviously the choice is clear, you stud.]... Is that why you didn't want to go back? [ and why is still the dominant question here, because he's too kind a person to end up with a fate like that. ]
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I'm fine with going back.
[ ... ]
But being viewed as «more than a friend» by anybody, especially you, just feels... wrong.
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