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[bloodandblunder]

"H... hello? Um, this is me-- ah, Noire! I'm Noire, and I'm very sorry for missing you somehow... I promise I'm not avoiding you, unless you're scary or you're Mo-- trying to curse me. U-um, so when I can figure out how to-- ( beeps ensue, followed by a shriek of fright ) O-oh, no! What did I push, how do I-- make it-- oh gods, did I break it?! W-why can't we just talk in person?!"

[ BEEP. ]

voicemail; action ; video

Comments

action;

[bloodandblunder]

[ How did her boyfriend somehow end up more exhausting--

But fine, okay, onward!! ]

action;

[memlost]

[ It's okay, Noire. You can sit back as much as you like -- Morgan's willing to do all the dirty work as they troop on, putting that baseball bat to good use... if not the manufacturer's intended use. Here and there he'll whoop as he hits a home run with a demonic bat, watching it fling into the darkness, or club a nameless beast thing's skull into the floor. It isn't always as efficient as a blade, but judging by all the cheerful bludgeoning going on, it's at least twice as fun. ]

action;

[bloodandblunder]

[ at least he's having fun. Noire's opting to reserve her arrows for more pressing situations and sticking to her sword this time, although she's letting Morgan have... most of them and using more efficient means to take care of the ones he missed. You know what, he's beaming like hellfire, might as well let him enjoy it. ]

action;

[memlost]

[ And that's why he loves her. Who else would quietly support his baseball bat murder spree? ... Aside from the other Morgan, of course. And Sonia. But that's beside the point. He's enjoying himself so much that he begins to sing mid-scuffle: ]

Love is like a whole apple pie,
Except not so flaky or easily spoiled...
So maybe it's more like a big apple tree,
Sturdy and strong and rooted in soil
But trees are too hard for what I feel for you
It's more like fresh applesauce
Come straight from a stew
Mushy and perfect for all times of day
It doesn't have much shape and it runs through your hands
But it fills up your bowl more than plain apples can...

[ ... And he will continue to liken their relationship to applesauce in aberrant rhyme as he smashes monsters kneecaps in. He'll stop eventually. Hopefully. ]

Re: action;

[bloodandblunder]

[ ... She's not sure whether she should be touched or highly embarrassed. That's a lovely song, after all, but...

... Applesauce...

She's just going to stay crimson while she guards his back, Morgan please!! ]

[memlost]

[ She is free to come up with a better analogy...! And luckily, he's too absorbed in fighting/singing to notice her reaction. More unfortunately, he's so absorbed in fighting/singing that he's slow to notice the vague, decaying four-legged thing that flashes over to pounce at his flank. The movement catches his eye, but he's a little too tied up in another foe to defend himself. But no matter. Noire's got his back!! He hardly reacts, still singing, trusting that she'll cover him. ]

[bloodandblunder]

[ She will, but it's with a yelp rather than a war cry that she hurries over to send an arrow through its side. Down it flops, and Noire instantly places herself closer to Morgan, eyes narrowed. ]

[memlost]

[ See? Perfect partner. But hopefully she's not too close, because he's still swinging that bat around. Soon, the enemies dwindle down until they're all quietly decorating the floor, the tunnel peaceful once again except for Morgan's singing -- but even that will end as he turns to Noire. ]

Great job! With a group that big, we must be getting close to the exit.

[bloodandblunder]

I hope so... you're going to lose your voice, at this rate.

[ Yes, that's the concerning thing here. ]

[memlost]

You think so? I've never lost my voice before.

[ Said with the kind of curious excitement that indicates he kind of wants to make it happen now. ]

[bloodandblunder]

... It's not very pleasant.

[ SHE WOULD KNOW. ]

[memlost]

[ Figures. He looks vaguely upward for a moment, imagining Noire with a fading, squeaky voice... ]

Aw, adorable.

[bloodandblunder]

I-it really wasn't! No one could understand me!

[memlost]

You know how ducklings flap around trying to fly, or puppies stumble around on their little puppy paws before they really know how to walk? It's like that.

[ what ]

[bloodandblunder]

...

Are you comparing me to a hapless baby animal?

[memlost]

Mm-hm! Everyone knows that's when critters are at their cutest.

[ FRESH OUT THE WOMB. ]

[bloodandblunder]

And their most helpless...

[memlost]

Yup. Free for the cuddling. Everyone loves baby animals! Don't you love baby animals, Noire?

[ If she says no, they're going to need a divorce. ]

[bloodandblunder]

Well, yes, I think they're cute, but I wouldn't compare myself to one--

[memlost]

Well, I would! Trust me on this one.

[ Don't make him call Morgan for backup once they have reception again. ]

Anyway, it's the final stretch. Onward!

[ He retrieves the arrow from the beast Noire last shot and then resumes the march. Next stop: the library!! ]